I killed rufio

So a little background first.

I have this weird habit of setting my alarm for one to two hours before I actually get up. I don't know why I do this, it just seems to work for me. I think it is some kind of self delusional attempt to trick myself into thinking I got to sleep in. In doing this I have actually kind of got ahold on the whole lucid dream thing...I think. Anyway I have all these delightful little mini dreams that I am aware are dreams and have an amount of control over. Dreams with a gaussian blur, if you like.

That being said this morning I managed somehow to turn of my blackberry alarm and at the same time completely block out NPR and fall back into a deep sleep. This gets us back to the main points. 1. I overslept and 2. I shot Rufio in the face.

Yeah...pow right it the kisser...well by kisser I mean the middle of his forehead. Please don't blame me. I was in the middle of this gang fight situation, no his hair did not look like that nor was he dressed up like the son of david bowie and my chemical romance, and I had really no idea what was going on. For some reason we were trapped there, not in the connivence store per se but in that dream. I was taken hostage by the urban lost boy. I believe in an attempt to get back at my brother, because for some reason he was in the other gang...with an old man. Somehow i got the gun from him and boom, good night Rufio. He looked me in the eye and said thank you, then he died. The dream ended pretty abruptly after that. Shocked into consciousness I was left with a few important questions.

One: Does this make me hook?

Two: Does this make me hook?

Three: Does this make me hook?

There is probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for being trapped in a sealed dimension with a side character from a Robin Williams film. It probably has something to do with watching way to much Dr. Who and not getting enough sleep peppered with every episode of Very Mary Kate. Probably. But for now.

I am Captain Hook 

WHY

is the "liquid" in pad commercials always blue...


oh and why and I insane? 

Looking at Poetry

I really enjoyed the readings from this week. The poems were an interesting departure from more classical literature that had previously been covered. Both the poems share some commonalaties but each have their own tone and voice.
Both of these poems deal with the issues of misconceptions about native Americans and the issues that  arise from that ignorance every day. The first poem by Diane Burns is the softer of the two. It takes a dryer more sarcastic tone to Chrystos poem, which is filled with rage and desolation. Both writers deal with the struggle of overcoming deep stereotypes within and through their work. They both utilizes a dark humor that at times seems a bit macabre.
We are supposed to write about how we personally relate to these works. I do not think that I can honestly do that. I do not have any experience with what these two people have gone through. I have never been brutally and systematically discriminated against. I can not empathize with them. That does not however mean that I don't care. That raw nerve that these poems get to is amazing. I might not be able to understand their situation but I can understand exhaustion, I can understand rage, I can understand isolation and fear. These poems reach more than just people who can understand, they reach to the heart of what makes us human.

I am suffering for no reason

Killing myself slowly for lack of something better to do

Crippled by an idlillic situations

I'm scared of the world
Scared of sucess
Scared of trying

I idolize the souless

Hoping mine goes on vacation so I can get somthing done

Falling for apathy

Because its easy

Damn

$69.38, I hate you

What can I say

I am exhausted.
But I can not sleep.

I hate the first night in a new place.
After being at home.

Everything that was safe and secure is now scary.

I dont know where things are.
Where I stand.
What is happening.

I feel gross and icky.

I know that this place can become comfortable
But will it ever be home?

? road, the first thing I thought about was colon

Fact: my eyes hurt

Over and out